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Three people, 2 men and Mrs Santa, Jeeto, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man`s dog asked the second man`s dog, "What you are here for?"
They are putting me down."
Oh no, says the first dog, why?
The second dog says,"Well, you see... I`ve been chasing the Postman for years. Yesterday, I finally caught him, and bit him. So, I`m going to be put to sleep.
The second dog says, "Well, my master just completely remodeled the inside of his house. I didn`t like it because my scent wasn`t anywhere, anymore. So, when he went to bed last night, I pissed on everything I could find, to get my scent back. This morning, my master found out what I had done, so he is putting me to sleep also."
Then they asked Santa`s dog, "What you are here for?"
Santa`s dog, "She is Mrs Santa. She runs around the house all the time without her clothes on. This makes me very horny. So, this morning, as she was getting out of the shower, and bent over to wipe up the water on the floor. I couldn`t stand it anymore, so I jumped on her a gave it to her good!"
The other dogs say, "So` that`s why they are putting you to sleep?"
"No", says the dog, "She brings me here to get my toenails clipped!"
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Hunting season ! Santa and his wife, Jeeto, lived aways out in the piney woods and after a few years began to have problems of a very personal nature. Not being well versed in the matters taught in school, Santa decided to consult a physician in regards to the matter.
'Doc, lots of times I get the mating urge out in the fields,' confessed Santa. 'But there`s no way to let my wife know because... - Suffer bitch ! An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by.
So the elephant says, 'Help me, help me.'
But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked way with... - Santa`s parrot Santa`s parrot has the habit of jumping on hens, so Santa tells him that if he does it again he will pull out every feather on its head.
The parrot jumps on the hens again, and his head feathers are all pulled out. Meanwhile Jeeto, Santa`s wife, who has pretentions to culture, is having a formal dinner. She appoints the parrot... - Laryngites ! Santa walked into a ice cream parlor and whispered: 'Can I have an ice cream ?'
'Certainly you may,' said the shop assistant. 'What flavour would you like, vanilla, chocolate or strawberry ?'
'I`ll have... - At nine o`clock ! Banta got married to a good-looking gal, Preeto and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
'I`ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don`t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I`ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I...